Ask Janus: Finding a kink aware therapist

I'm new to kink (curious and uninitiated, actually). I'd like to explore BDSM, but have a psychiatric disorder that could complicate things. I'd like to find a psychologist (or more than one) who's BDSM-familiar so I can find out what some possible implications of exploring this might be. Any help would really be appreciated.

First, congratulations on your forethought. Assessing psychological risk is often overlooked by some who are looking to become more explorative in their sexual expressions.

The good news is that there are a good number of therapists who look at kink as a healthy lifestyle choice and not as an abnormality. Depending on where you live, you may find number of therapists who are willing to help you. Since you did not give us a location, here's a national resource (and we'll follow it up with some additional information).

If you go to http://www.ncsfreedom.org and then under "Resources" click on KAP/Kink Aware professionals, you will find listing for therapists all over the country who have knowledge of BDSM. In the listings, each of the therapists lists his or her background, which should help you find a
potential professional.

If there is none on that list for your area, a second resource is the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists at http://www.aasect.org. It's a national listing of professionals.

If you happen to be in and about the Bay Area, you can call or email San Francisco Sex Information. http://www.sfsi.org and they can help you with referrals.

One piece of advice we've given to those looking for a therapist is this: Most therapists will give you a short phone conversation (up to a half hour, but usually 15 minutes or so) free of charge in order to find out if the match between you as patient and them as therapist is going to be fruitful. If you call a therapist and have to leave a message, being clear about your needs is always a good thing (saying just what you asked in the email would be great). It's also a good idea to let the therapist know that they are free (or not) to leave a message on your answering machine if they call back
and you are not in. It's common practice in the kink world since not everyone looks at kink in a positive light.

Thanks for the great question and hope that helps. Good luck on your journey.

The Ask Janus Team