Searching for Good Books and Literature on BDSM

I am very very new to BDSM and I am trying to move slowly as I learn more about the lifestyle and myself. I have found a mentor, who is answering many questions and guided me to your site. I want to thank you and all of those out there who understand how scary and lonely this process is and embrace us with your understanding and patience.
I also want to learn more but I dont want to get the wrong information. I am planning on attending your next orientation and coffee for newbies and today I have purchased "SM101: A Realistic Introduction" by Jay Wiseman. Are there any other books or literature you would recommend that provide realistic, useful and serious information on BDSM? Everything in my fiber tells me I am a sub, so I would be particularly interested in things that relate to the sub/dom relationships.

Thanks for the question and congratulations on taking a thoughtful and measured approach to finding out more about BDSM and the lifestyle.

We asked all those who come in contact with newcomers about their recommendation for books lately to see if anything has changed. Jay Wiseman's "SM 101" is still sought by many as a introduction. Here are some other books that may be good for newcomers:

"The Topping Book" and "The Bottoming Book" by Dossie Easton and Catherine Liszt are both wonderful explorations of power exchange from two different perspectives. It's worth reading both. And both have "New" updated editions (with Janet Hardy being listed as the co-author)

Also worth finding: "Consensual Sadomasochism" by Sybil Holliday and Bill Henkin; "Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon; "Radical Ecstacy" also by Easton and Hardy and "Sensuous Magic 2nd Edition: A Guide to S/M for Adventurous Couples" by Pat Califia.

Our Mentoring Director also recommends "Nonviolent Communication" by Marshall Rosenberg, not so much for the kink aspect, but because it gives a good introduction into helpful means of communications. Good communications is a cornerstone of fulfilling BDSM.

There are other books, but this should get you started.

While it's important to read about the lifestyle, it can be important to interact in person to see the realities. Going to an orientation, a munch, a newbie coffee is a great start. We think you'll find plenty of supportive folks who are willing to answer the many questions you will probably have.

Good luck on your journey.

The Ask Janus Team