Consent & Harassment Guidelines

Our Consent & Harassment Guidelines are intended to make clear that SoJ values consent at all of our events. We recognize that not all scenarios are covered so feel free to contact us if you have concerns that you think fall outside of the scope laid out here.

The following applies to SoJ events. Venue rules and policies are always respected and may supercede portions of this policy.

Society of Janus provides education, outreach, and opportunities for socializing in a safe and relaxed atmosphere for people of all ages, orientations, genders, and roles who have an interest in kink. We believe that all kink activities can and should be safe, consensual, and non-exploitative.

To help achieve this goal, SoJ maintains the following guidelines at all of our classes, parties, events, and outings.


At All Events

1. No touching people or personal property without permission.

2. Treat everyone as an equal regardless of body type, ability, race, ethnicity, country of origin, gender identity or expression, sexual orientation, relationship status, or religion/spiritual path. Only engage in verbal role-play if you have permission. For example, don’t call someone as “Mistress” or “slave” or any other role-play word unless you’ve asked if it’s okay.

3. Respect a person's personal space and privacy, as well as their right to say no to advances, conversation, overtures of friendship, or to express feeling uncomfortable. Should this happen, disengage and do not attempt to convince them they are mistaken about your intentions or actions.

4. No one is exempt from obtaining proper consent. Everyone has the right to be free from harassment

5. SoJ hosts and organizers may refuse participation by anyone at our events.

At Events That Include Play

6. Negotiate the scope of your scene prior to the activities. Before the scene begins, it should be clear that all involved parties have given enthusiastic consent and actively want to partake in the proposed acts.

7. Each participant is responsible to make sure everyone involved has the mental and emotional ability to give informed and voluntary consent during their negotiation for the scene.

8. We recommend that you don’t renegotiate in the middle of your scene. When a person is in subspace or otherwise not in a clear state of mind, you may not have informed consent even though they agree in the heat of the moment.

9. Anyone can withdraw consent, make a nonverbal safesign, or use the universal safewords Red or Safeword at any time. Once consent is withdrawn, the activity must stop immediately. Partners need to share what safewords or safesigns are being used to prevent consent violations.

10. The Top is legally responsible for stopping the activities at any suggestion that the Bottom has withdrawn consent. The Bottom is ethically responsible for being clear and unequivocal when withdrawing consent.

Disclaimer: Although SoJ expects event attendees to uphold these guidelines to the extent possible, no representations or guarantees are being made about our ability to act on alleged violations of these guidelines, and all participants/attendees retain full, sole responsibility for their safety and the safety of others with whom they interact.

In the Event of a Consent Violation

1. Alleged consent violations will be dealt with on a case-by-case basis. Anyone who feels they may have been violated may speak to the event host or designated SoJ representative privately, and with a promise of confidentiality if so desired.

2. With the permission of the complainant, the event host may ask for details about what occurred from involved parties and witnesses who are willing or able to provide information. The complainant may add further information at a later time if they are unable to fully articulate details immediately following the incident.

3. Someone who is alleged to have violated the consent policy may be asked to leave the event. Special consideration will be given to the wishes of the victim of the consent violation, though the final decision belongs to the event host.

4. The event host will bring available information about any harassment, violation of consent, or reason for refusing participation to next SoJ Bizmeet with the aim to evaluate if procedural changes are needed and decide if further action is warranted. The victim may also choose to bring it to the Bizmeet
themselves if they so wish*.

5. Regardless of any outcome, SoJ will not tolerate post-complaint shaming or retaliation.

* : Bizmeets are publicly posted and open to all SoJ members. All SoJ members present at a Bizmeet have equal rights to vote and bring motions. Directly involved non-members will be allowed to attend the beginning of a Bizmeet by prior arrangement, or have an officer or other member deliver a written statement on their behalf. Attendance during debate, discussion, and voting is limited to members only.

Updated 2017.03